034 - Second Guess Your Second Guessing
This week on On This Walk, I am speaking directly to you, my audience.
Join me as I talk about second-guessing, sowing fear, and creating doubt; and how the mind plays these tricks on our human design in order to distract us from the obvious truth; that the mind was never meant to be in charge; rather a faithful servant of the heart and soul.
This is one episode you don’t want to miss.
In This Episode
(00:30) – Revisiting my human design.
(05:18) – Concerns about sowing the seeds of doubt.
(10:25) – Second guessing your wisdom.
(12:20) – Listening to the inner voice and where it’s coming from.
(15:30) – What part of you is second-guessing?
(17:00) – What is the game your doubt is playing?
Notable Quotes
-
“I'm asking you to second guess your second guessing. I'm asking you to doubt your doubt. And that's where I want you to use your skepticism. I want you to break free from what limits you and begin to trust the truth that's trying to speak through you, that's calling you to the life that you really wish to create.”
-
“More often than not, it's the mind that is afraid and it's projecting its fear onto you and onto what it sees. Because at some point the mind is worried that you might just discover the mind was never meant to be in charge. The mind was meant to be a faithful servant of the heart and of the soul. The mind is meant to be a tool, a powerful tool, but a tool that serves you.”
-
[00:00:00] Luke: Welcome to On This Walk, a show about the winding journey of life in all its realness. I'm Luke Iorio. Please join me in my brilliant heart-centered guests each week as we look to navigate this journey more consciously and authentically uncovering how to tap back into that sense of connection with self, with soul, and with something bigger than ourselves.
[00:00:22] Now, let's go on this walk. Hello there. And once again, thank you for joining me here on this. I wanted to actually revisit something from a recent episode because didn't take long for what was discussed to end up being front and center with something that I was experiencing. So, in episode 30, I sat down with NCR to review my human design, and in part of, what we were discussing, we were referencing things like Len Authority and acoustic resonance among other, you know, very specific terms to human design and regardless of the actual verbiage that we used, essentially.
[00:01:00] What all this means is that the way that my insights tend to come are instantaneous. Meaning that they come in the moment, and I might get a certain feel or a certain message, an insight that just appears and then it, it, it seems like it has appeared just out of nowhere. But then it can disappear on me, and it can be actually difficult to reconnect to it.
[00:01:21] Now, we may call these moments, intuition. Some could say that maybe all the processing that I had been doing that was going on in the background, and then all of a sudden, everything comes together. The sudden flash of wisdom or inside whatever shines through, whatever it is, doesn't matter because for me it feels like it comes completely instantaneously.
[00:01:40] And so with that, Enter life stage left. Cause I recently had this. I have this all the time to be accurate, but I recently had this occur in relation to a particular decision that I was making about attending an event. And when I first connected to the purpose of this event, which has to do with abundance and connecting to the energy of it, it was very clear in that moment that I was supposed to be there.
[00:02:02] In addition it's with my primary, my greatest spiritual teacher, Karissa. And so, in that moment I knew this is where I'm supposed to be. It just kind of had that feeling of this is. This is aligned. This is where you belong. So now, this was a couple of months ago when I found out about the event and I had this, you know, just clear like you're supposed to be there kind of feeling.
[00:02:23] And as time passed, for whatever reason, I wasn't booking my trip. I wasn't confirming my spot. I wasn't making the arrangements to attend, even though I had saved the time and space on my calendar. But the point is, is I did not act upon what I felt in that original moment, that initial knowing that I had.
[00:02:42] And because I didn't act on it. Because I didn't act what I knew and what I was so clear on, I allowed the second guessing to appear. You see, the mind chatter really began strongly at that point, and that mind chatter kicked in pretty good because my mind started to, to tell me, to ask me things like, well, is, is now really the right time?
[00:03:03] You know, you're busy, you've got all these new opportunities going on. You've got client work, you've got to do programs starting. It's just got all these things, and then it would start questioning the expenses. You know, just recently you've had a lot of extra expenses because for those of you that aren't on my newsletter, I moved homes and it's questioning like you just moved home, so you got all these extra little projects and you need a little bit of furniture for this room or for that room.
[00:03:25] You need to do these things that make it feel like this home is, you know, this house is now your home. And then there's other random added expenses to do with investing in my business, investing in this podcast, investing in. And so my mind just kept piling up all of these different changes and messages and questioning.
[00:03:44] Is it smart to be spending the extra time and extra money to go off to Sedona again, right now? Part of me just kept piling on all of the second guessing, and that was a challenge to my design, my nature. It was contradictory to the very way that my intuition, my design, that inner voice really works with me.
[00:04:04] And it served me that way true over and over and over again. I know that when I follow that inner knowing, when I feel aligned, I feel resonance. I feel that this is the path that I'm supposed to be walking. And even those times where I follow that voice and it just doesn't work out as intended, maybe, the, the way that I expected it just didn't go as planned.
[00:04:26] It's okay because I know I had made that decision from a place of truth, of resonance and of congruent. That choice led me to whatever it was that I'm supposed to experience, and I'm okay with that. But I didn't follow that knowing. I didn't follow that intuition. I didn't follow my design and act on what I knew when I knew it.
[00:04:47] And so here I am and I'm questioning am I supposed to go or not? And so now I'm trying to get back to the original feeling, the original insight, and knowing that I had that original intuition as it spoke through. But it doesn’t work that way. For some, for some of you, you may have to be patient because your design might be different than mine.
[00:05:09] And so you may need to be patient about certain decisions and allow various levels and waves of feelings to pass through you to then arrive at that place of peace and from there that you know what it is to follow because you can feel the peace and you can feel the alignment of that. Well, for me, what seems to be true is that I connect to my insights very instantaneously.
[00:05:29] It's not riding those waves of feeling or those rides of perspective. Instead, it comes in much more like a flash of what it is that I'm supposed to know. And it can be extremely difficult to reconnect to that. It's like trying to grab smoke. It's just going to keep passing through your fingers. And so now I'm faced with, if I don't go, I will not have honored that part of me.
[00:05:52] I have not honored that inner knowing and voice. Now listen, nothing may transpire it. Going to this event or not, may not change a single thing about the world or my life. It may not matter at all. However, I will have sown the seed of doubt. I will have sown the seed of questioning myself because I didn't follow through on what I knew to be true.
[00:06:15] So this isn't just about what I do now. But do I start building a pattern of questioning myself, denying how part of who it is that I am works and how it leads me. Does that lead to more doubt and questioning myself in the future and not following that inner knowing. This also isn't like I received or felt a new message based on new information or new energy that tells me a different course of action is needed.
[00:06:42] I haven't had any other insider knowing. I just simply didn't honor the first one, and then I let my mind chatter really kick in. Now, I don't simply say yes to everything or follow every single good feeling to go do something. This also doesn't mean that I need to actually follow through and a hundred percent of every single idea, ideas or a hundred percent of every insight that just pops into my head and that I grab hold and I got to go do these things.
[00:07:05] That's not what I'm saying here. What I need to consider, or what I need to look at is I need to continue to fine tune this instinct, this way of knowing as I learned to listen in more deeply and clearly, but I can tell right now the messages that I'm receiving that are telling me, well, maybe you shouldn't go.
[00:07:24] Those feel like excuses. They feel like rationalizations. They feel like they're coming from my mind, and they do not feel like they're coming from truth. And the challenge for me is reconnecting to that moment of truth that told me, you're supposed to be there. This is right. This is aligned. This is where you're meant to be at this time.
[00:07:43] It's just so difficult to go back and reconnect to that initial spark, that initial knowing. You don't have to have the same human design as me to know this. You know that every once in a while you feel that burst of energy or that burst of knowing that feels like the clouds have partied, the sun is shining, and you connect to that warmth.
[00:08:00] The heat of whatever message you were supposed to receive is right there, and you're connected in that moment. But you also know that once the sun has changed positions, the clouds have moved. it's difficult to reconnect to that exact experience and moment again, and that's okay. You now get to ask yourself, as I am going to ask myself, do I want to trust what I connected to in that moment or not?
[00:08:26] That's the juggling I've been doing. I have spent most of my life not trusting those moments; to not trust that knowing and instead trusting my mind to figure out things and get it right. Well, I'm deciding not to do that anymore. I'm deciding to follow what was that initial spark of inspiration and insight and of knowing. And the more that I tune in, I can feel the warmth that comes into my heart.
[00:08:51] In a recent meditation, as I had been contemplating all of this, one of the additional things that I connected to was this beautiful message from my heart saying, I've got you. I told you, you don't need to keep trying to figure things out. I already knew how all of this is supposed to unfold. I already know where it is that you're supposed to be.
[00:09:13] Trust me, surrender back to me. Follow me. Got to be clear. This isn't my heart saying to do what I like or do whatever pleases me, or just follow my preferences. In fact, much of the time, my heart leads me into places I do not feel comfort. I'd prefer to simply stay home and enjoy the time with my wife and kids and not travel around through all the airports.
[00:09:36] I'd prefer not to raise certain difficult conversations or not make certain changes, and instead stay the course and just keep on, keep it on. All of those scenarios would be a lot more comfortable than what my heart usually leads me to. But I've done that and now I'm done with that. My heart keeps leading me to this beautiful, deeper journey, and so off I go.
[00:09:58] I wanted to share this experience and in a reflection with all of you, because this is much more than just about my design and how this works for me. Sure, your design, how your inner guidance system activates, may not work the same as me. As I said before, you may need to tap more into your emotions and the feeling of life, the tone of life, or maybe you need to feel like me in terms of feeding off that intuition, those sparks, those knowings, that just appear to you.
[00:10:25] Others of you, you may need to see it. Meaning maybe you're more a visualizer and that you need to be able to see, not just for clarity in terms of satiating the mind, but you need to have that picture in your mind to know what it is that's drawing you forward. We've got all of these different ways of knowing each one of us has a different path, but my question to you is this, once you begin to tap in and channel that knowing and channel that wisdom to feel that truth, where do you begin to negate it.
[00:10:58] Where do you begin to question it? To second guess it? How often does that second guessing appear? This is really what this is all about. Each one of us has our own way of starting to hear the truth and how it shines through for us. It may be in small ways, like a decision for a trip, or maybe it's in big ways like changing a job, or relationship.
[00:11:23] But if we want that intuition and voice of truth or wisdom to speak to us when we really, truly need it most, then we need to be listening for it, working with it, and learning to trust it all the time. This isn't just a sometime thing. This is an all the time thing. And so, we also have to look at why we don't trust it.
[00:11:47] Meaning, why do we doubt that inner voice, that inner guidance system that we. Why do we second guess it? What's all the second guessing about? Well consider, is that second guessing coming from a place of fear, or are you hearing a new insider, or are you connecting to greater discernment? Is the second guessing just that second guessing, or is it coming from a place of knowing?
[00:12:15] You can even consider where within you is this second guessing typically coming from? I mean that in terms of physically or what sensations are there as well as what part of you is speaking. In terms of physically, I can now feel for where is the message, that inner voice coming from. If it feels more heady or quite literally like it's coming from my head, then I know it's my mind raising objections.
[00:12:43] I also know that my mind constantly wants to negotiate to find a way to get me to settle down. My mind doesn't like change. It likes familiarity, control, uncertainty, so its objections are usually secondary or even disruptive to what I know is true to me. I also know the difference when I receive a message from my gut.
[00:13:05] If my gut is worked up, meaning that I feel anxious or agitated or upset and unsettled in some way, then I know that it's my lower self, my smaller self, definitely not my higher self that's doing the speaking. It's coming from a place of fear, of worry. But if I feel the messages or that inner voice is coming from my heart or my gut and it feels peaceful, it feels centered, calm, then I know I can trust it.
[00:13:34] I know that it's coming from a higher sense of self. It's taken time for me to learn these little nuances, even physically to feel for them. But that's what I'm encouraging you to begin to focus. Get to learn your body's cues so that you can truly distinguish the inner voice of truth and wisdom and love for you.
[00:13:54] It'll become an inner guidance system more powerful than all the others. Also, I mentioned that the second guessing could be coming from a part of you. I've referenced this in some of the episodes as parts work, voice dialogue. Maybe you've heard us talk about internal family systems. They're all related in similar work.
[00:14:14] When the second guessing comes up. Ask yourself what part of me is speaking, what part of me is doubting. We all have many parts within us, the wounded child, the protector, the controller, the dictator, the vulnerable one, and so on. We also have the nurturer, the playful one, the curious one, the wise one and such.
[00:14:37] These are all different aspects that make up the whole of who we. Second guessing is usually coming from one part that doesn't feel heard or that doesn't feel safe in the experience I've just shared with you today. It was my responsible one that was speaking up and my responsible one, when it's imbalanced, wants me to play it safe to play small or do as I should.
[00:15:02] And when my responsible one is conscious and balanced well, then it helps me manage risk and plans so that I can meet my goals and take care of my family. But also while still allowing for fun and spontaneity and joy. So, consider what part of you is doing the second guessing. So where do you go from here. First, it's okay to be a little skeptical from time to time with these messages that come through to you.
[00:15:28] It's okay to take a second look at your decisions or plans to see if something has changed or is changing. But is your modus operandi your usual way of working? Consistently pulling you away from that which you are meant to do from that which you are meant to be. Does it have you consistently questioning the truth that seems to appear inside of you?
[00:15:50] Tell me, is this feeling of knowing that arises in you, is it knowing that blossoms and fills your heart? Can you feel it even growing in your stomach and then through your solar plexus, into your heart and your chest? And is that when your mind gets involved and starts to shut things? It says, no, no, no, no.
[00:16:09] I like things just as they are. It's quite safe, so you need to step back. You need to hold back, and you need to be smart. Damn. How many times have I said those words to myself, to play it smart? That responsible one, a responsible part of me, might as well have been telling me to play it small, Luke, what messages does your doubt know to use that really puts you back in your place? That gets under your skin. So now let me lay this out even more plainly as to what my intention here is. I'm asking you to second guess your second guessing. I'm asking you to doubt your doubt, and that's where I want you to use your skepticism. I want you to break free from what limits you and begin to trust the truth that's trying to speak through you, that's calling you to life that you really wish to create.
[00:17:01] So again, consider what is the game that your doubt is playing. What is the game that your mind is playing? What is it trying to keep you from? Why is it trying to keep you in the same box that you've always been playing in? And truthfully, what is it afraid of? It's not the fear that it's putting on you. That's just projection.
[00:17:24] It's telling you to be afraid and that you are afraid, but that's not always the truth. More often than not, it's the mind that is afraid. And it's projecting its fear onto you and onto what it sees, because at some point the mind is worried that you might just discover the mind was never meant to be in charge.
[00:17:44] The mind was meant to be a faithful servant of the heart and of the soul. The mind is meant to be a tool, a powerful tool, but a tool that serves you. And if you step outside your fear, if you begin to trust the truth that comes through you in whatever form, then your mind finally loses control. It relegates it to the place that it was always meant to be, so that your soul can reclaim its rightful place.
[00:18:11] And initially enough, one of the ways to get there is to second guess, your second guessing. Enjoy your walk.
Thank you for joining me for this episode of On This Walk. Before signing off, please subscribe to the show and don't miss a single episode. Also, please rate and review us. This helps me greatly in getting the word out.
[00:18:32] About this show, and remember, this is just the start of our conversation To keep it going, ask questions, add your own thoughts, join the ongoing conversation by just heading over to on this walk.com, and click on community in the upper right hand corner. It's free to join until we go on this walk again on Luke Iorio.
[00:18:51] Be well.